Why is it so Difficult to Treat Ourselves with Kindness??

 Why is it so hard to treat ourselves with kindness? My Therapist once said to me, "You wouldn't say that to a friend who was  struggling. So why would you say that about yourself?" And it's true, while we like to believe we give ourselves credit for our accomplishments we often brush them aside in lieu of, "what's next". What goal can I reach or what accolade can I achieve next. As I write this post the lyrics of a Charlie Puth, yes, I said Charlie Puth...song ring in my head. 

"I can see you're strugglin'
Promise you'll find love again
Yeah, it will be alright
Why are you so hard on yourself?"

So why are we so hard on ourselves?, "Why do I think I have a "weird" body? and Why do we constantly play this comparison game with our peers? Honestly, I think it's, "A tale as old old as time..." and the beast is this carrot at the end of the stick that we're always chasing. It's a bigger house a nicer car , a higher paying job. So how do we stop this vicious societal cycle? 

I think much like i've mentioned before I think breaking this pattern has a lot to do with retraining our approach to how we view our lives. Some days it may be as simple as just practicing gratitude. When we wake up in the morning just acknowledging what we're grateful for. And it doesn't have to be this huge thing. Yes maybe some days it's expressing gratitude for something as vital as our health but maybe other days it's something as simple as waking up to the smell of coffee that your partner made or the sound of your kids laughing in the living room. 

Getting into the routine of practicing gratitude can lead to such a perspective shift. This certainly isn't always the case and sometimes can be difficult to do when we're really struggling. But the more we do it, the more we begin to appreciate the life that we've created for ourselves. And once we do that this idea of wanting what others have begins to fade away. I once heard on a podcast that, "envy is the thief of joy," and that statement rang so true me. We're always content with what we have until we see what someone else has. So let's begin to fight against that!

I think the next step is to really draw that clear line between 'Instagram and Reality' social media continues to be a highlight reel of someone's life no matter how hard we try to break down those barriers and allow authenticy to shine through online. But defining this line allows us to give ourselves more grace and to stop holding ourselves to such high expectations. It's also important to celebrate someone's wins rather than immediately turn inward and thinking that we're falling short in our own lives.  

And lastly, I think it ultimately comes back to strong boundary setting. This is probably one of the most difficult thing for myself and so many of us to do. But when you set clear boundaries in your life if the people in our life really care about you they'll respect them. Whether it's a dietary change, deciding to stay in and canceling plans or taking time to text someone back. Boundaries are healthy and I believe they allow you to show up better in your life. 

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